Let’s do an exercise on error correction, rephrasing, and revising. Revise the following paragraph from a student’s essay. Please read it, correct any errors, and improve the paragraph in any way. You are encouraged to also rephrase sentences to clarify them for the reader, but try your best to keep the original writer’s meaning. For my students who’ve done this in lab, you could find the link to a corrected piece at the bottom, but please try to do it on your own first.
Nobody really knew when jazz was started, but by the early 1900’s it was being played during night time through the city’s Stormville district. It was an area of bars, gambling, and illegal activities. Different parts of the New Orleans’s musical history are mixed into jazz including African chants and drum rhythms, slave songs, marches, ragtime, the blues, and classical music. The African American in Stormville mixed the parts together to create a new style of American music.
Click here to see how this paragraph can be corrected and revised, or go to - http://spirfit.org/CUNY/Downloads/ErrorCorrection/NewOrleansJazz_Paragraph2_Rephrased.pdf
Copyright: © 2011. This document is the sole property of Amadeo Constanzo. You may use this piece for free in your class, for public distribution, on your web site, blog, or other publication if and only if you include this entire copyright notice including the following links and statement. Other free teachings from Amadeo Constanzo can be found at cuny.SpirFit.com and SpirFit.org/Blogs
writing exercise, CATW, Departmental Exam Writing, SAT Writing, ACT Writing. grammatical error correction, rephrasing, revise, revising. rephrase
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