Thursday, May 26, 2011

Writing Exercise - Revising a Paragraph on New Orleans Jazz (Part 1)

Let’s do a revision exercise. Revise the following paragraph from a student’s essay. Please read it, correct any errors, and improve the paragraph in any way. You are encouraged to also rephrase sentences to clarify them for the reader, but try your best to keep the original writer’s meaning. For my students who’ve done this in lab, you could find the link to a corrected piece at the bottom, but please try to do it on your own first.

There are a lot of cities in the United States that influenced and change history and culture of the whole country. One of these cities was New Orleans. It was large city with a big number of immigrants. In 1890, the largest black urban community in the United States lived in New Orleans. Early African Americans of New Orleans came from Africa as slaves. In the early 1900’s, New Orleans became the most famous center of jazz, because of African American musicians. Black musicians and some white musicians helped to develop jazz in bars and on Basin, Rampart, and other streets in the French Quarter.

Click here to see how this paragraph can be corrected and revised, or go to -

Copyright: © 2011. This document is the sole property of Amadeo Constanzo. You may use this piece for free in your class, for public distribution, on your web site, blog, or other publication if and only if you include this entire copyright notice including the following links and statement. Other free teachings from Amadeo Constanzo can be found at and

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